Pain-Catcher Technique – Easing your Parents “Sep-Anx”

by Kris Dano
Pain Catcher Technique

Here’s an inevitable fact: at some point, children start their own lives and move out of the homes they used to share with their parents.

If you’re reading this, there’s a chance that you’ve recently left your parents’ home, or you’re about to leave.

You could also be reading this because you know your parents are masking the sadness that comes with your separation, and you feel like you should do something to make things right.

As a loving child, you don't want to be a source of pain for your loving parents.

The sadness that your parents feel when you're away is not new; it is a problem that has broken the hearts of many parents and brought guilt to their children.

Like a mother bird with no young to look after, your parents are experiencing what they call the empty nest syndrome.

While they know that at some point they have to let go, it is still valid to mourn indefinitely when your nest turned from lively to empty.

When this sadness worsens, only time will tell how fast they would sink into SepAnx or Separation Anxiety.

Eventually, you would be the distant child who always wanted to visit but never do. Without a solution, you would be letting your parents suffer.

We don't want any of that! 

Easing your parents Sep-Anx


When I moved out of the house to start my life journey, I knew that my mother is proud of how independent her child has become.

Every visit, she wears a smile, but I knew. I knew that underneath that smile was stabbing heartache.

I tried visiting her as often as possible, but you know that many life circumstances do not let you do this as often as needed.

I also tried reading many guides that promised to ease the Sep-Anx of my parents.

However, these guides and methods highly rely on physical contact, which we know will not work.

Today, I will be sharing a technique that helped with my mom’s sadness and anxiety.

After all the research, it finally paid off.

I call it The Pain Catcher Method.

Before the Pain Catcher Method changed our lives, I used to drive over to visit my parents on the weekends.

The need to make my parents feel closer to me led me to experience traveling across cities and face heavy traffic.

Of course, this is also too tiring.

There was even a time when I compromised my work to visit.

Don't get me wrong. I would give anything to see my parents, even for a while.

It was worth it to see when their eyes would brighten whenever I come home.

However, this was not sustainable. Over time, I encountered difficulties sustaining this strategy, especially on instances when work demands extra time.

There must be a better way to make things easier.

After years of making everyone happy at my expense, I accidentally devised the Pain Catcher Method.

Here are the notable changes that this technique brought in our lives:

1. No more heavy traffic every week;
2. No more compromising work;
3. No more pushing your body to your limits to meet every demand; and
4. My mom's separation anxiety significantly dialed down despite seeing each other less frequently.

By now, you're probably itching to know what The Pain Catcher Method is and how it can help you achieve the same positive results.

Well, itch no more. I will be revealing everything you need to know about this technique.

I will also walk you through every step to implement the Pain Catcher Method and ease your parents' Sep-Anx.  


Remember the time when people went crazy over dreamcatchers?

If you've been living under a rock, they are round hoops covered in knitted nets that are supposed to protect people from nightmares and bad dreams.

In short, they allow users to sleep better by catching nightmares.

Think of it this way, the pain catcher method will act like a dreamcatcher, but instead of catching bad dreams, the locket will be catching sadness and anxiety.

Hence, the name for the technique.

So what can you give your mom that will work as a pain catcher? Hold on to your seats-- a digital locket!

A digital locket, as a pain catcher, will remind your parents that you will always be coming back for them.

For your mom, it is a security deposit that grounds her when she feels anxiety eating up her joy. Unlike pictures stored on phones, it is also very accessible.

Thus, every time your mom is about to feel Sep-Anx, she can instantly ground herself and look at how she wonderfully raised her child.

Yes, visiting helps with Sep-Anx, but most of the time, you just cannot.

Help ease your mom's Sep-Anx, even when you are away, with this method.

Aside from being able to spoil your parent with a gift, a digital locket will serve as an appreciation token for all the sacrifices they made that made you the person you are today. 

Evermee Digital Locket


What kind of digital locket should you get?

How do you implement the Pain Catcher Method?

Well, let me walk you through every step!

Step 1: Choose a Digital Locket 

Obviously, you have to get yourself a locket before you can turn it into a Pain Catcher.

You can mindlessly pick one, but you must remember that they were not created equally.

Since we're on a technological age, your best bet is on a digital locket.

Unlike regular lockets, they are smart lockets that shame the classic pendant that came to prominence in the 19th century and has never died down since.

Your mom, while appreciating the functionality of lockets, deserve nothing short of the convenience that this age has brought for everyone.

The modern pendant takes the spirit of the classic locket by storing valuable images of people they love and miss.

At the same time, it elevates the experience by providing users with features you did not know you need.

Well, of course, you don't want to give your mom a flimsy Pain Catcher. Don't skimp on the detail!

One brand that stands out in the digital locket industry is a relatively new company called Evermée.

The company uses 100% recycled silver for its products to leave behind the lowest possible environmental footprint and be a carbon-neutral business.

The company also uses both 925 Sterling Silver and 18k Gold Vermeil for their products.

Evermée specializes in digital lockets because they want to provide people jewelry that stores their memories at the same time.

Yes, the traditional locket does just that. However, with a digital locket, you are not restricted to a single photo.

Instead, you can choose multiple photographs that can help your mom reminisce about all the good times she had with you.

Aesthetic-wise, Evermée's digital lockets are also highly competitive and provide different options for different tastes.

You can choose genuine gemstones like Green Malachite or resin patterns, depending on your preference.

If you think your mom will be amazed by a striking gemstone, wait till she scans the pendant with her smartphone to make photos appear on the locket.

If you wish to choose another digital locket, then you should check out the Momento Pearl.

It is a digital locket with a pearl pendant.

The pearl houses an NFC-powered technology that shows a chosen photograph after you scan it with an app on your smartphone.

With technological innovation as the heart of this contemporary Pain Catcher, there is no doubt that your mom will marvel at the thought of using a digital locket to ground herself when anxiety hits her.

Step 2: Choose a Memorable Photo

You can't just throw in whatever picture was on your mom's smartphone. I tell you, the devil is in the details.

Luckily, we are using digital lockets, so you do not have to choose just one photo.

Finally, selecting a featured photo is not too restricting and pressuring.

Since our moms have been with us since conception, we have a set of photos to choose from.

However, we recommend choosing photos of your family and photos with you and your mom in it to make her sweetly remember the long journey your family has gone through together.

You must make sure that each photo represents a memory that triggers happy thoughts for you and your parents.

Select photographs that you believe will lighten up her mood every time she wears the necklace and glances over them.

Remember: impact is everything!

You can choose photos that represent milestones in your life.

Perhaps, your mom was so proud when you graduated or learned how to swim.

You can also select ones that remind her of the times when she had you for herself.

For instance, childhood photos of events where you look adorable.

In my case, I chose a photo of my mom carrying a two-year-old me, a Christmas picture of our family, my graduation picture with mom, and a picture of my own family for her to feel that she is still a part of my new personal life.

The pictures not only ease the tension she feels from being distant from her children.

They are also simple reminders that she is loved and will always be loved, despite the distance.

She will experience warmth by looking at the transformations that you had as her child.

Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée
Dreamland Edition – Crystal - digital lockets by evermée

18k Gold Plated - Crystal Edition


Imagine the look on her face when you first scan the necklace and surprise her with a cute photo that sits inside this stunning necklace!

View details

Step 3: Surprise your Mom

Part of the value of a gift is how a person received it.

For instance, you value a present when you least expect it or when it is a gift for an occasion.

Jill Suttie Psy.D, on her study published in UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine, also tackles that surprises tap a person’s dopamine system.

Dopamine, being a chemical messenger that transmits pleasure and motivation, is an extra dazzle to top it all off.

After setting up the digital locket and choosing the photos, it’s time for you to mark your calendar, and surprise your mom with the pain catcher.

It could be the next time you catch your mom at a family dinner.

Perhaps, you can surprise her by dropping by one random night to give her the pain catcher. I tell you, your presence alone will surely make her smile.

Moreover, I recommend choosing a time when you can spend a whole day with her – like on a weekend when work is not demanding.

Besides, you don't want to rush this.

The day should be all about your mom since you will need enough time to explain how much you understand how she has been feeling.

As part of an older generation, I am also sure that you need the extra hours to go through the steps on how she can operate the digital locket.

The moment I gave my mom the digital locket and taught her how it works, I saw the instant glow and look of relief.

After scanning her pendant and seeing the photos I’ve chosen, my mom shed a tear or two before hugging me tightly.

From the instance that I gave her the digital locket until today, a full year after I left home, I saw how her disposition improved.

Of course, she still has Sep-Anx from time to time, but the Pain Catcher Method works wonder when I can't be with her.

Step 4: Visit your mother from time to time

Yes, I know, I know.

A Pain Catcher will not replace her child.

The whole point of the Pain Catcher Method is to ease your mom’s anxiety and stress from you being away.

It does not mean that you get to stay away from her as long as possible.

The method is not a pass to forget your mom altogether.

No, it does not work that way.

I’m not telling you to compromise work and split the ocean to visit your parents every week.

The fact remains that you should still visit your parents from time to time when the universe permits it.

The point of the digital locket is to ground your mom from her anxieties when you are away and not replace you.

It still can’t suffice the physical attention they long.

So, set a schedule and visit your family from time to time – that’s all The Pain Catcher Method asks of you.  


So, there you have it!

These are the steps to implement the pain-catcher technique so that you may ease your mom’s empty-nest syndrome and separation anxiety.

You cannot take away all the longing that your parents have for you.

Whenever I bid farewell to my mom, I can still sense her refusal.

However, the Pain Catcher Method allowed her to focus and widen her senses.

She no longer fixates on the distance that separates us.

Instead, the digital locket reminds her that I will always be her child and that my absence does not mean that I love her less.

If this method worked for you, don’t forget to hit the like button and share this post.

Share your experiences with the Pain Catcher method because I would love to hear from you! 

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